Breast Cancer Correctness

I guess what bothers me most is being taken for a fool.

Let’s see now, breast cancer kills thirty-somethings and forty-somethings, but it kills more fifty-somethings and up. So, since we are all going to be sharing the cost of detection and treatment more than ever, why don’t you gals below fifty be good  sports about it? 

We know best, and we recommend that you not be checked. Heck, we even recommend that you not check yourself. We want to spare you the inconvenience and the potential anxiety of a false positive. It would be horrible to think you have cancer and then find out you don’t.

What about positives, you ask, and false negatives? Well, you won’t get those if you don’t get checked. Trust us. We know what’s best for you. And don’t you be sneaking into the bathroom for a self examination, you hear.